On Being a Father

It's a little surreal. I have always had it in mind that I'd like to have a child at some point, but that's been a little thought in the back of my mind. Now he's here. Even after we knew he was a boy and we'd seen a few ultrasound images of him, I never had an idea in my mind of what he'd look like. Now I can look at him.


Sometimes when I do look at him I just don't believe it. There he is. 20 years of adulthood (give or take) and 10+ years of marriage to his mother, a bit of difficulty, and then nine months of preparing, and there he is, sleeping.

Things more experienced folks would tell me about fatherhood have, mostly, come true - but not exactly as expected. The lack of sleep everyone talks about - it's real, but it's not that big of a deal. I was concerned that I'd turn into a zombie by the second week, but instead, we got into a bit of a rhythm. People said my life would no longer be my own - it would be all about the boy. That's also mostly true, but it's not this wrestling match to get my old life back. We make small adjustments and we can do pretty much exactly what we had always been doing.



The biggest thing I learned when we got Nina (our dog) was that it wasn't all about training her; the best success came when I figured out how to adjust my way of thinking a bit, too. Now if I could just understand why she thinks dirty diapers are delicious...

Elias John

First, a picture:


This was taken last week as he was speeding toward a recovery from jaundice. Higher bilirubin levels in newborns are pretty common but it's still disconcerting when you've fought for nine months (or more) to bring this baby into the world and it's not 100% text book. That hose connected to a flat fiber optic light "jacket" that wrapped around his torso and delivered a wavelength of light that assists in the dispersion of bilirubin. Irony is that I write about fiber optic equipment every day.

This kid showed up two weeks ahead of his due date and was still 8 pounds, 11 ounces at 21 inches. Not bad. In the following two weeks, he's clearly found his lungs and a taste for milk (or formula - he's not that picky). He clearly is more easily comforted by his mom than by me, but that's fine.

Either way, we hoped and prayed for a healthy baby, and as of today, that's just what we got.