Dear 2012,
The three words that best describe you: STINK, STANK, STUNK.
With a few exceptions (my sister's wedding, our son's birthday party, and a fun trip to California) this year sucked. I feel like I spent more time in existential examination than playing trains with Eli; my midlife crisis came at the beginning of his ability to empathize.
There was a point where I had to evaluate everything: who I am, what I've done, where I'm headed, etc. and I did not like all of the answers. It's a little trite to try to fix things with new year's resolutions, so the idealist in me needs to kick the realist in the nuts and take some chances. Big picture stuff, like doing work that means something. Creating things. Reading books. That kind of stuff.
Current me has become so "go with the flow" that my identity got flushed. I need to be better than I am, and that means not caving in to being tired or low on time or excuse-rich. I need to pick a thing to do and do it. It's advice I give to my cousins in college and it should apply equally to me.
I do have a few hair-brained schemes in the works. One is a blog, but I still need to figure out the identity of that. I have the basic idea, and I have a band of miscreants in mind to power it. Another is a brewery. I have the place and the beers named already, and I have a scheme to get it off the ground using a completely different group of talented friends.
Most importantly, I have some ideas for some music I'd like to make. It's tricky for a few reasons - mostly logistical. I'm really hoping this one, if any of them, comes to pass.
So, if I've shorted you this year, or seemed like a jerk, or acted generally badly - it's been a tough 12 months. Please forgive me and don't give up on me. Let's go get a beer. Here's to 2013 (who'd have thought we'd see it...)
