3.5 Years In

What I think I'm seeing in Eli is the push and pull of the urge to control things (be independent) and the urge to acquiesce (be comforted) working in opposition of each other. The clearest example of this was when he was not happy with an answer I gave him, so he said "GET OUT OF HERE!". Calmly, I said "Okay - I'll be in the house." Of course, if I'm in the house, then we can't continue playing outside, so he called back "WAIT - DON'T GO" and ran over for a hug. I wonder if this is his superego finally being installed. I'd probably be a better dad if I read up on this instead of ruminating about it, but I'm not sure what I'd change regardless of what I might discover. At the nursing home where my wife works (in the dementia unit), they placate and redirect. There's no attempt to correct or rationalize - they're not in their right minds. Eli is similar, but at the other end of the cycle (his mind is just developing). The other day, I overheard our day care teacher talking with another parent about disruptive behavior in class and how to avoid it or steer around it. This morning, yet another parent talking to a manager there about the same thing. I wanted to high-five both parents, or hug them, because I want to imagine my child being a model student and role model for behavior, but I'm sure he has moments of conflict. The core issue is that they're 3. Right or wrong depends on the variables they're willing to accept, and reality only has a small part in it. Consequences are just barely on the radar. Eli and I talk about all kinds of things being possible or not possible, like monsters or airplanes or tornadoes. I can't imagine how confusing it must be to arbitrarily assign "real" or "pretend" to things. The zoo, fireworks, the real-life version of Radiator Springs and the street Lightning McQueen was forced to pave in Cars - he's seen amazing things. To him, it's all real, because he can see it and process it. Even his imaginary friends are real to him, although he will concede that they're pretend if asked. The toughest explanation for me, so far, was how to approach the passing of our dog. I wanted him to understand the finality of it, but without freaking him out. For a few weeks, even after lengthy discussions, he'd still ask "is Nina coming home soon?" It must be wonderful to have no existential fears, but I suppose he can't understand how wonderful it is without context, and that context is the thing I'm trying to help him avoid for as long as possible. And so, it's gratifying to hear him repeat things I've told him a million times. I keep thinking he isn't listening, but he actually hasn't missed a thing. Maybe he'll go a little slower down the hill on the bike path next time...

Drumming Influence - Matt Johnson

Here's a swarthy lad, nonplussed with his current environment (JBTV studios, Chicago, 1995-ish), unwittingly having an effect on me and countless other musically-aspiring fans:



There's nothing flashy going on. Minimal kit, very few fills, no stick-twirling antics - just clean, professional drumming. Matt Johnson played his part perfectly behind Jeff Buckley, and he's at it again with Annie Clark, AKA St. Vincent.

After seeing him play live with St. Vincent for the second time, my best description of his style is the Shaolin master, who uses minimal movement to exert maximum force. He reverts the argument back from Fruity Loops to human touch despite having seemingly redundant analog and digital equipment. While his setup still looks minimal, but it's anything but, and whether it's connected to a computer or a stretched skin, he's hitting it with precision.

Fills are still minimal, but when they appear, they are staggering. And then, the doubled hi-hat on Birth in Reverse with the funky pulse to boot - just awesome. See for yourself:



He looks more like Christoph Waltz than Neil from the Young Ones these days, but he seems to have only gotten stronger. I'm certain I'm missing tons of information on him from the gap between Buckley and Clark, but that's what Google is for, eh?