Because Dad Says No

One of the most powerful tools I, the parent of a toddler, have at my disposal is bribery. Really, it's one of many diversionary tactics, but I find it more powerful than redirection or threats. It comes into play most frequently when we're out shopping, and recently, it helped to calm a small storm of emotion at a local farm supply store.

Eli was able to pick a small toy animal in exchange for his cooperation, and so he chose a small tortoise. He referred to it as the baby turtle and waged quite a reasonable argument to also buy the larger tortoise (the mama turtle) so that the baby wouldn't be lonely at home. I held my ground.

Weeks later, at the same store, he asked me if we could get the mama turtle, and so I offered him the terms by which I would agree, and he followed them to the letter. On our way out, we picked up the bigger tortoise. I asked him, "What if we got the dad turtle instead of the mama turtle for the baby? He wouldn't be lonely then." His response: "Nah. The dad says 'no' all the time." He's still a little too young to catch the irony there.

On further reflection, I realize that in lots of popular culture (especially Disney), the dad seems to serve a solitary purpose: to say 'no'.


Sure, the focus is usually on the independent spirit of the child, but there needs to be a foil to that spirit, and that is the responsibility of the dad. The mom nurtures, the dad says 'no'.


It's not some kind of power trip thing, though. Maybe it will be when he's 16 and knows everything, but for now he's only 3 and simply has an underdeveloped superego. It's not a fun job, either, to constantly be the villain; to force bath time, bed time, wearing pants in public, etc. It's not bad right now as expectations are pretty low for toddlers in general, but at some point, he'll have to be accountable.

He seems to be bridging logic gaps by the minute, and he speaks in a sophisticated enough manner that I have to remind myself that he's 3 on occasion. For now, I'll just keep denying his requests to fall into peril, write on the walls, or spit without prejudice. It's my job.

Tricot - 99.974℃

I'm digging this band from Kyoto. The drummer has that rhythmic psycho thing a la Greg Saunier (Deerhoof) but it's more under control. They'd sound a bit like Hella if not for the lyrical vocals countering the chaos. I'm catching a dash of Souls (Swedish band nobody remembers) as well, but regardless of the input, the output stands on its own.


The trouble with this type of music is that it can very quickly all start to sound the same. The language divide makes it just a tad more difficult to grab onto something, but so far they haven't lost me. That energy is luminous.

Part Chimp - Sweet T

There's a crossroads between the precision playing of heavy metal and the fuck-all abandon of punk rock. Grunge was that to a degree, but there was a folk element somewhere near its root. I'm not sure what to call the genre that contains the grunt and crunch of punk rock, but also has the melodies and skill of metal, but I like it.

Spotify suggested, based on some other bands I like (Fu Manchu, Clutch, High on Fire, I suspect), that I might also like Part Chimp. I don't always take Spotify at their word, but in this case, the album cover roped me. Every aspect of the band that I've encountered thus far can be described as "kick ass".

Here's a taste:

Hiatus Kaiyote - The World It Softly Lulls

I first became acquainted with this band randomly, through some artist channel on Spotify. The song I heard was Nakamarra (featuring Q-tip) and it reminded me of an even groovier Brand New Heavies. I love that kind of stuff. They clearly have jazz-trained roots, and chops galore.

Further investigation uprooted this song, which I could listen to on a loop forever, I think. It's almost a journey in how it moves through it's completely transformative progressions. None of them are particularly jarring, even though the loop sometimes feels like a tone arm that can't stay situated on warped wax. That's not by accident, either - they're stretching a groove until it flaps, then bringing the whole shebang back into the pocket nicely.

Just when I fear for the state of music, a band comes along that reminds me that people still do practice every day and care about every single note they play. It's heartening.
Please grab a cup of warm whatever and enjoy Hiatus Kaiyote:

Fatso Jetson - Light Yourself On Fire

Nirvana had The Melvins, and Kyuss/QOTSA had Fatso Jetson (Boomer, anyhow). Boomer had the generator that fueled the infamous sessions in the desert that spawned more than a few great bands. Haven't heard them? Here's a start: The desert scene was basically influenced by lots of the same random music that I grew up listening to, and the distillation of those disparate sounds into various other bands works for me. There's a distinct feel to this music - hard to describe, but languid guitars permeate harder rock formations. Good stuff. One more, with a title for a pal: